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MAC humor Lose95 Your Jokes Newsroom Misc.
Welcome to the Newsroom. If you want to share your Microsoft conspiracy theories or just see what kind of boners companies have made recently, this is the place to be.
Overheard (Rumors and stuff)
"Right There, Harv" Up Yours department
Cookie Security Demonstration
Dirty Marketing SOBs
Bill Gates Sees Blue: During a demonstration of Windows 98 on national TV, guess what happened? Same thing that happens to Windows users around the globe. The sinister. The frightening. The Blue Screen of Death. "That's...err...um..that's why we're not releasing Windows 98 just yet..."
Beyond Page-Redirect: Two more potentially
dangerous security bugs found in Microsoft Internet Explorer 4, the Freiburg
text-viewing bug and the Buffer Overrun bug. The Freiburg bug
allows any devious website to snoop your hard drive and read text
files, view graphic files, etc on your computer, so long as they know the
name of the file and where it is located. In the Buffer Overrun bug, any
website containing an address that begins with "res://" can crash your
computer or execute rogue (e.g. virus) code on your computer,
by adding this binary code to the end of the URL. Specifically, the address
is intentionally made longer than IE can handle, and everything beyond
this maximum overruns the buffer into system memory, where it is executed
by your CPU. Patches for both can be found at
Oh, a wiseguy, eh?? The funny part: In his recent trip overseas, Bill Gates was greeted with a pie in the face by someone who thought they were being incredibly amusing. (Well, I laughed my ass off...) The not-so-funny part: Gates very nearly pressed charges for assault & battery. Way to go, genius. And same to you, pie-chuckers.
Beware the Intel Sneaks: In Intel's latest
sinister plot, Website owners are paid by Intel to create pages featuring
the Intel Pentium II processor. Specifically, companies get a large kickback
from Intel if they feature a page bearing the 'Intel Inside' Pentium II
logo, that is somehow coded to perform better on an Intel Pentium II processor
and prominently states this on the page. This has brought up an
concern about the objectivity of many online editorials, since these
Intel ad pages are often mistaken as editorials, and sometimes even marked
New Pentium Bug: Intel has announced a workaround for a recently-disclosed bug that crashes Pentium and MMX-Pentium processors.
bug, which Intel calls the "Invalid Operand with Locked CMPXCHG8B instruction"
(try saying that three times) erratum, causes the processor to lock
up in an endless loop when certain 'illegal opcode/invalid instruction'
errors occur. On the good side, illegal opcodes occur mostly in corrupted
programs, ie. partially downloaded files, and not so often in retail software.
On the bad side, Intel is not offering a fix--the workaround must come
from the maker of your OS. A patch is already available for Linux, but
Windows 95 users are S.O.L. for the time being.
A security bug has been found in Microsoft
Internet Explorer 4.0. This bug, which Microsoft refers to as the Page
Redirect Issue, allows a not-so-nice website to swipe authentication information
such as your login and password for other sites. This bug
affects IE 4.0 and IE 3.02. More info on the bug can be found
A patch to fix it can be found at www.microsoft.com/ie/security.
One cup of proprietary Java, coming right up!
It seems that
Sun, the creators of the
very-cool Java language/platform, is unhappy with Microsoft for its attempt
to rewrite Java to run exclusively on Windows and thereby destroy its claim
to fame, cross-platform interoperability. So unhappy, in fact, that it
has filed suit against
Microsoft for breach of contract and an attempt to dominate
the language. This comes shortly after the release of Microsoft Internet
Explorer 4.0, which uses this Microsoftized Java ripoff that is not
compatible with other operating systems.
Closely related, PC Magazine has decided, in its infinite wisdom, to recommend IE4 as the best browser. This selection was based largely on Java performance, Microsoft's proprietary version significantly outperforming Netscape and others' 100% Pure implementation. The review of the browsers was biased, inaccurate, and generally not consistent with PC Magazine's ordinarily high journalistic objectivity. Is Microsoft twisting their arms, too? While PC Magazine has so far remained unresponsive to such inquiries, it is likely that this review was not as objective as it could be, Microsoft being one of Ziff-Davis' primary advertisers. If you would like to contact them yourself and ask about their decision, they can be reached at email@example.com. ( wrote a letter to this effect and sent it in to PC Magazine. Although highly edited, it was actually printed in the January issue.)
"Careful what you wish, you may regret it..." Ever since Internet Explorer 4.0 was released, newsgroups and techie-pages have been flooded with sad and horrific tales of woe. Since the new browser has to update your Windows shell before it will run, there are hundereds of things that can (and do) go wrong during the operation. Reports have been pouring in about messed-up fonts, corrupted Registries, and even computers that will not boot after installing IE4.0. An if you think installing was a bitch, just wait'll you try to reverse the process. You may be better off just reformatting the HD and reinstalling Windows. Our advice? Just say no to 4.0.
According to an unverified report to alt.os.windows95.crash.crash.crash,
56-bit encryption has been cracked. This resulted from a contest in which
the first person to successfully crack the code received $100,000. More
information is available at
There is a petition to remove the MS Internet
Explorer logos from Compaq, Gateway, and Micron computers. The details
are available at
Microsoft a monopoly? Naaah... Well apparently, the government has finally caught on to the fact that Microsoft is out for complete domination the software and browser markets. A news report on November 20 indicates that Microsoft is being investigated for issues such as the giveaway of their Internet Explorer browser. Additionally, Microsoft is being held in contempt of court, and being fined $1 million per day, starting from a court order in 1995.
More Intel woes: The FTC is currently investigating Intel citing anti-competitive business practices. The primary focuses of this investigation are Intel's hefty rebates to companies that display the 'Intel Inside' logo, the complete redesign of processors (including the Slot 1 design) that forces computer makers to redesign their motherboards to be incompatible with competitors' chips, and Intel's brutal backlash against Digital in retaliation for its lawsuit.
Annoyed to no end by During a meeting of the World Wide Web Consortium (W3C), it was overheard that the blinking text attribute, used heavily by people who want to annoy you, may be unsupported in future versions of web browsers.
Mac users, beware! You, too, will be assimilated. Microsoft recently announced some sort of partnership with Apple Computers. The scary part is that a large sum of money is involved. The scarier part is that this may be heading in the direction of a merger or even buy-out. The scariest part is that Apple was desperate enough to accept!
Speaking of Apple, Mac OS 8 has finally been released.
Features include multithreading, protected memory, and a new 3D look-and-feel
officially known as Platinum. It's also PowerPC native, which means it
will run significantly faster than previous versions.
New Pentium Bug--Update: The bug has been confirmed. Named Dan-0411 after its discoverer, this bug apparently causes the wrong flags to be set when an overflow occurs during a 32- to 16-bit integer conversion, sometimes with very undesired results. The bug affects the Pentium Pro and Pentium II microprocessors. The classic Pentium and MMX variety do not appear to have this problem.
Both Digital Equipment and Cyrix Corp. are suing Intel claiming infringement of copyrights and trade secrets, etc. Digital is pushing at least ten different suits, some claiming the Pentium II's design was based largely on their Alpha chip.
A more recent development is the possibility of a math bug in the Pentium II and possibly MMX processors. You may remember the infamous FDIV bug in the classic Pentium long ago. Well, from the looks of things, here we go again. For more on these and other Pentium problems, check out
for the latest Intel news and blunders.
What is Web Response Pay Per
Web Response PPI allows you to submit support incidents to Microsoft engineers over the World Wide Web on a pay-per-incident basis using your credit card.
How much will I pay for a support
See Pricing Information for Support Offerings for more detailed information.
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More conspiracy theories, rumors you've heard floating around, any bug
reports or bonehead company updates you've heard...
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Intel, Pentium and the Intel logo are trademarks of Intel Corporation. Microsoft and Microsoft Internet Explorer are trademarks of Microsoft Corporation. All other trademarks are the property of their respective holders. This has been a boring legal disclaimer in a very small font. This may not keep us from getting sued by companies whose bugs, scams and all-time bonehead moves are exposed on this page, but it's worth a shot! Please see Page o' Disclaimers for more of the same.