The follwing are a collection of good requests and flames to spam companies, both from the Spam Hater software and our own dealings with a spammer:---------------------------------------------------------------------This will change your life!Dear:[ ] Clueless Newbie  [ ] Loser[ ] indy.netter[ ] Me too'er        [ ] Pervert      [ ] Geek[x] Spammer          [ ] Nerd         [ ] Elvis[ ] Fed              [ ] Freak        [ ] FLAMENET[ ] AOLer/Euronetter/PIer/MSNetter[ ] Other: Unbearably self-righteous personYou Are Being Flamed Because:[ ] You posted a message in a newsgroup other than your topic[ ] You posted a binary in pieces LESS than 5000 lines[ ] You posted a binary in a non-binaries group[ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply[ ] You continued a long, stupid thread[ ] You started an off-topic thread[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message[ ] You said "me too" to something or "Send ______"[ ] You don't know which group to post in[ ] You suck[ ] You brag about things that never happened[ ] Your sig/alias/server sucks[ ] You posted a (phone-sex or a make money fast) ad[ ] You posted something totally uninteresting[ ] You crossposted[ ] You posted a message all written in CAPS[ ] You posted racist shit[x] I don't like your tone of voice[ ] I think you might be a member of CO$[ ] I think you might be a fed[ ] You advertised me something not available in the UK[x] You junkmailed meTo Repent, You Must:[ ] Give up your  AOL/Euronet/MSN/Planet Internet account[x] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor[ ] Actually post something relevant[ ] Read the f****** FAQ[ ] Be Pat Buchanan's love slave[ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month[ ] Apologize to everybody in this newsgroup[ ] Post your tests to alt.test/misc.testIn Closing, I'd Like to Say:[ ] Blow me[ ] Bite me[ ] Get a life[ ] Never post again[x] I pity your dog[ ] Go to hell[ ] I think your IQ must be 7[x] Take your s*** somewhere else[ ] Learn to post or f*** off[ ] Do us all a favor and jump into some industrial equipment[ ] See how far your tongue will fit into the electric outlet[ ] All of the above---------------------------------------------------------------------We have tried repeatedly to get off your mailing list,"". You have ignored every single request.We have tried numerous times to join the unsubscribe list, but since allmail from the address you are spamming to is merely forwarded to thisone, we cannot make use of this option, as the address has receive-onlycapabilities.Your repeated and unsolicited junk Email messages cost us time andmoney, waste our bandwidth and slow down legitimate transfers of data,and take up valuable space on both the mail server and our localmachines.Time is, unfortunately, a commodity which neither I nor any of us havean excess of. Your junk mail does nothing but waste our time; we have nointerest whatsoever in what you are trying to sell. We wish that any andall of the following personal and business Email addresses be removedfrom your databases *immediately* !  [Insert addys here]If we continue to recieve this mail, rest assured that the appropriatelegal authorities *will* be contacted regarding your corporation. Thisis not an idle threat! You have caused us delays in recieving legitimatemail from our customers, as well as wasted a wrongfully large amount ofour time. This will be our final warning to your company before wepursue legal action.Please reply to this message to verify that you have recieved it. Inyour reply please tell us, if possible: Where you recieved the address(es), Who gave you the authority to send junk mail to them, How much you paid for the address(es), if applicable What made you think that we were at all interested in your product(s).If this message is ignored it will be taken as a sign of hostility onyour part. The deliberate transmission of unwanted mail is against the lawand will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of these laws. Again, thisis our final warning to you.[Your Name, etc.]---------------------------------------------------------------------Offence under US code Title 47, Sec 227(b) (1) (C)I have recently received UNSOLICITED and UNWANTED junk e-mail from anindividual who appears to be using your site.  A copy of that mail isattached herewith.  Junk Mail is now regarded as the same as unwantedand unsolicited junk faxes and telemarketing calls - all of which arenow ILLEGAL under US federal law:     By US Code Title 47, Sec.227(a)(2)(B), a computer/modem/printer     meets the definition of a telephone fax machine. By Sec.227(b)     (1)(C), it is unlawful to send any unsolicited advertisement to     such equipment, punishable by action to recover actual monetary     loss, or $500, whichever is greater, for EACH violation.Please ensure this is stopped NOW.  You have been put on notice.  If youconfirm to me promptly that effective action has been taken against thosepersons responsible, I will not take the matter further on this occasion.If you do not provide me with such confirmation in a timely manner, or ifANY further UNSOLICITED or UNWANTED junk mail should be received from yoursite, I will instruct my attorney to issue a writ WITHOUT FURTHER NOTICE,and the matter will then be pursued under federal law.  I will separatelynotify your upstream providers as they may also be liable for violationsoriginating from your site.---------------------------------------------------------------------GentlemenYou junk-mailed me. I don't like it. Whenever I hear your name againI will remember it with annoyance. The same goes for your InternetService Provider.There is a way you can retrieve the situation. Prove that you actuallyread mail as well as sending it out. Make sure I don't get mail fromyou again. If you know any good "Do not e-mail" lists, take thetrouble to add my address to them.That way, I can remember you as the company that pays attention to itspotential customers---------------------------------------------------------------------The Telecommunications Act 1984The Telecommunications Act 1984 makes is a criminal offence to use anytelecommunications system with intent to cause annoyance or distress.Your recent junk email has caused me distress and I am putting you onnotice that you must not do this again. Failure to heed this warning can lead to fines, imprisonment and lossof telephone service.---------------------------------------------------------------------Make Money DoggedlySuperDoggy Marketing combined with the Canine Expansion Pay Plan ismany times more powerful than any pooper available !  And I am goingto build your kennel for *you*,  ABSOLUTELY FREE !!!Highlights of the Canine Expansion Pay Plan include:*  Earn over $10,156 per month with only 101 active Dalmatians !That's right! All you need is a load of spotty dogs!*  Unwaggable, droolable 37%  infinity chocs with no brown mess*  24%  matching spots on commission earnings of ALL "2nd   and 3rd generation" hounds !The company was just whelped on Octember 2 and is creating a greatamount of excitement and barking.  And I am building my kennel bybuilding *yours*.  ABSOLUTELY FREE !!  I am running a world wide sad campaign, and all of the responses thatI receive will be placed in ONE GIANT KENNEL,  making it possible for*everydog* to earn commission chocolates the very first month.  Just send me your name, number of spots, colour, address, E-Mailaddress, phone number,  fax, hat size, etc.  You will be contacted assoon as possible to be given full details and an *opportunity* to bite.Remember there is no obligation to join, although a deposit of the green(not brown) variety of $199.95 does help.So don't just sit there wagging your tail looking dumb !For more information about this exciting opportunity,contact:postmaster@cyberpromo.com   Independant (shucks, must buy the dawg asmeller) distributor for The Art Of Better Licking.---------------------------------------------------------------------OK, I'm not exactly sure who authorized you to use my Email address toshove junkmail down my throat, but I do not approve of the idea.Furthermore, all attempts to unsubscribe to this mailing list have beenmet with resistance. I don't know where you got the idea that I am aseal, but I prefer not to jump through hoops and bounce balls on mynose. The steps necessary to un-subscribe are more hassle than I, oranyone else, should be put through. Some of us have more importantthings to do. Please unsubscribe me, [YOUR ADDRESS] , from yourmailing list immediately.  --------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello,I'm not sure where you got our address, but this is a proprietary systemand you are not authorized to access it, either via direct connection,proxy, or e-mail transmission. Unauthorized access to our system is nottolerated and violators of this property will be prosecuted to thefullest extent permitted by law. Please do not send mailhere again.